A Hilarious Homecoming
by Rose DiVerona
Summary: It's senior year at Scarsdale High, and the Bohos attend the Homecoming football game. Of course, they have to liven things up a bit...


A/N: So, I went to see RENT in NYC this past weekend. It was...amazing. Seriously. If you want to know who/what I liked and didn't like, just PM me. I met the Mark and Roger!

I started this fic back in October after my school's Homecoming game, which we won, but I lost interest and moved on. I found it again and wrote the rest tonight. Obviously an AU fic, since they're all in high school in Scarsdale together, and it takes place in Fall 2008.

Also, I realize some of you might find it weird for Angel to be a drag queen in high school, but honestly I feel like it's her identity, and a "her" is what she chose to be. I do sort of refer to her as a "girl" in the first part of this. Just so you know.

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT. Just a playbill and some autographs.

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**A Hilarious Homecoming**

"Come on guys, we're gonna be late!" 

An eighteen-year-old Latina girl raced down the steps, her curly hair flying behind her as she landed with a thump on the landing. She glanced back behind her to see her three friends following more slowly, grinning broadly at her antics.

"Mimi, chica, since when were you so eager to get to a school gathering?" one of them asked. The speaker in question was very obviously a drag queen, clothed in a blue skirt and a white turtleneck with blue Converse sneakers. She was also wearing ludicrously big blue earrings.

Before Mimi could answer her best friend, one of the other girls, a tall, thin teenager with curly brown hair, cut in teasingly.

"Oh, she doesn't care about the football, Angel. She just wants to be with _Roger_." This third girl wore tight black pants, several layered tank tops, and high-heeled boots. There was also a cowbell attached to her belt.

Angel and the fourth girl smiled, and Mimi blushed.

"Maureen! What exactly are you suggesting?"

"Oh, nothing." Maureen put an arm around the African-American teen beside her and grinned suggestively.

"Joanne, will you please tell your girlfriend that I do not appreciate her tone?" Mimi asked, checking her makeup in the hall mirror, "It makes me feel uncomfortable," she joked, flashing Maureen a grin.

The African-American, Joanne, checked her watch. "We'd better go if we want to meet up with the guys."

"Right." Mimi tossed her lipstick back in her bag and fished her car keys out of a pocket in her leopard print coat. "Mama, we're leaving for the game now!" she called towards the kitchen.

"Si, okay! You chicas have a fun time!" the reply came distantly.

Mimi led the girls out of the house to her beat-up station wagon and they all climbed in.

"I hate this car," Mimi sighed as she finally got the engine started on the third try and they pulled out with more than a little turbulence.

"At least you have a car," Maureen pointed out, "I couldn't afford the gas prices!"

"You would be able to if you actually got a job!" Joanne pointed out.

This was met with laughter. Maureen's anarchist beliefs were well known. She didn't even believe in the modern work system, so it was impossible for her to find a job.

"Ah, well, what use is a car going to be when I get out of high school? I'll be moving to the city, and I won't need one there," Maureen pointed out. Maureen had big dreams of moving out of Scarsdale and becoming an actress on Broadway. She was very talented and got the female lead in most of their high school plays, but she was somewhat of a drama queen and could be difficult to work with.

Mimi glanced into the rearview mirror and smiled when she saw Maureen and Joanne's fingers laced together. The two teens had been best friends since seventh grade, when Joanne's family moved to the suburb from Pennsylvania. The group, meaning Mimi, Angel, Maureen, Roger, Roger's best friend Mark, and Angel's boyfriend Collins, had accepted Joanne into their group right away. It had taken a long time for Maureen and Joanne to admit their deeper feelings for one another, but the other kids saw it coming long before it finally hit in December of tenth grade. Maureen had been a self-announced bi for a year or so already, something the rest of the grade, and pretty much the school, knew. But Joanne still had not "come out." She and Maureen had been secretly dating for nearly two years now. Only the seven friends knew that. Everyone else just thought they were best friends.

It was much the same for Angel and Tom Collins, known as Collins to everyone but his parents. They had been together since ninth grade, and been best friends before that. The only difference was that they were "out," and had been since they'd started dating. Three years later, most people had come to accept that fact. Of course, many people disapproved to the point of hatred, but it was almost impossible to hate Angel. She was very thoughtful of others, and hey – she had great taste in clothes!

"Mimi, watch where you're going!" Joanne screeched.

Mimi jumped and stomped on the brake. She hadn't even noticed she'd reached the high school, nearly rear-ending the car in front of her, the tail end of a long line of vehicles waiting to get a parking place for the big Homecoming game.

Mimi waited patiently, but Maureen was starting to get antsy. She bounced a little on the seat, gave a deep sigh, and leaned her head on the window with a thump.

"Maureen," Joanne said testily, "Calm _down_!"

"It's stuffy in here!" Maureen complained, leaning against Joanne.

"Hey! Hey – Mimi!" a male voice called. Footsteps were heard on the asphalt outside the car. Maureen and Joanne jerked apart, only to relax when Roger poked his head in the open window.

"Roger!" Mimi grinned, awarding her boyfriend a kiss on the lips. She gestured to the line of cars in front of her. "This may take a while. Are you already parked?"

"Got here early," Roger explained. He opened the door. "Here, you girls get out, I'll park."

"You sure?" Mimi asked hopefully.

"Yeah, go find Mark and Collins. Shouldn't be too hard – Mark'll have his camera and Collins brought a big rubber finger to wave around. They saved spots for everyone."

Mimi, Angel, Maureen, and Joanne piled out of the car and made their way merrily across the parking lot toward the football field, which was ablaze with light and filled with a cacophony of pre-game cheers audible even from far away. Angel's face was alight with excitement – she was always enthusiastic about everything, and even a football game, which none of the group truly had any interest in, was considered a cause for special dress.

Maureen had no such feelings.

"Remind me again why we're here?" she wrinkled her noise as they stood in line at the gate to buy tickets.

Mimi sighed. "Because it's our senior year, and our last football game _ever_ where we're all together in one place."

It was true. The teens were off to college the next fall. Mark and Roger were both going to Columbia; Maureen, Angel and Mimi were off to NYU; Collins was going to MIT; and Joanne was going to Harvard. Even though most of the friends would still be extremely close together, with Maureen and Mimi, and Mark and Roger even being roommates, it would be different than before. It would be hardest for Joanne and Collins, because they were going to colleges in Massachusetts instead of New York like their friends.

"It'll be fun," Joanne promised, putting an arm playfully around Maureen. "If you survive, we can go back to my house and be alone. My parents are out of town."

Maureen smiled gleefully. Mimi and Angel exchanged a grin.

Once the tickets were bought (Maureen had a small argument with the ticket seller over the unfair prices, but Joanne managed to drag her away), the four friends began looking for Mark and Collins. It wasn't hard – the boys saw them first.

"Hey! Guys, up here! Maureen!" The shrill call was accompanied by an even shriller whistle.

Mimi winced. Mark was _so _tactful sometimes.

"There they are," Angel pointed to a rather bare spot in the center of the bleachers, where Collins was jumping up and down and waving his rubberfinger everywhere and Mark was preparing to whistle again.

"Shut up, Mark!" Maureen yelled. He blushed and plopped back onto his seat as the others climbed through the crowd, finally reaching the two guys and assimilating around them.

Angel leaned up against Collins, pulling a blanket onto her lap.

"Hi, honey," she murmured. Collins wrapped an arm around his partner, ignoring the ugly glares several others seated nearby were sending them.

Maureen and Joanne sat together one row above, doing their best to stay an acceptable "friendship" distance apart. Mimi sat next to Mark, leaving a space for Roger.

"I see he brought his guitar," she nodded towards the black case by Mark's feet.

Mark laughed, hands resting on his precious camera. "Yeah. I don't even know how he got it past the people at the gates."

"Hey, I got something past, too!" Collins announced. He reached into the bag at his feet and pulled out a bottle. "Stoli!"

"Collins!" Maureen laughed, taking the illegal drink from Collins and stashing it underneath another blanket. "If anyone sees that-!"

"Maybe we should save it for the after party," Collins agreed.

"Maureen and I are going to have our own after party," Joanne announced quietly, a knowing grin on her face.

Mark and Mimi glanced at each other and quickly away again, each of them wondering what _that _must be like.

"Back," Roger announced smoothly, coming out of nowhere and sliding smoothly between Mimi and Mark. "You been flirting with my girl, Cohen?" he accused playfully, emerald eyes narrowing at Mark.

"You know it," Mark replied lightly, lifting his camera and panning it over the empty field. "The Homecoming Game, 2008. Senior year. It's set to start in five minutes, but who knows? If the Scarsdale Panthers win, the team goes on to playoffs, and we all go to an after party at Pizza Hut. If not…well, we still have the party." Mark moved the lens to face Maureen. "Maureen, anything to say before the game starts?"

"Who cares about the game?" Maureen scoffed. She reached out and plucked the camera from Mark's hands, turning it to face him. "Say hi, Marky!"

"Maureen, give that back!" Mark exclaimed, reaching forward in a panic.

Maureen pulled it away, zooming in on Joanne before handing it to Collins, who promptly stuck the lens in his mouth.

"Collins!" Mark screamed.

"Phmmthh," Collins muttered, his eyes sparkling. He removed it from his mouth, angling it towards his face instead. "As you can see, Collins has missed yet another dental appointment! God only knows how many cavities he has now…"

He passed the machine on to Angel, who waved before handing it to Mimi, who stuck her tongue out before pressing it into Roger's hands. Roger leaned back and filmed Mark for a moment longer.

"See the albino pumpkin head in his native habitat. What's that? He appears to be…panicking! Ye gods, he's foaming at the mouth! Rabies, ladies and gentlemen - no one is safe anymore!" At that point, Mark managed to snatch the thing out of his friend's hands and shut it off.

"Collins, you got it all saliva-y!" he whined, using his scarf to carefully wipe the lens down.

"My sincerest apologies, humble sir," Collins faked in a British accent.

"You all stink," Mark whimpered, pouting.

The others took one look at his face and burst out laughing. A smile curled its way onto Mark's face despite himself.

"He-ey!"

Everyone turned at the call to see a very unwelcome face. Benny had been a friend of theirs until the eighth grade, when he'd decided to get popular and left his "loser" friends behind in the dust. Now he was president of the class, with his rich girlfriend Alison as vice-president. It seemed that now that he was the class's head, he had decided to be "charitable" towards the group he'd all but ignored the past four years.

"What are you doing here with us losers?" Roger asked bitterly, an arm around Mimi's waist. Once upon a time, Benny and Mimi had been a "thing." Even though that was way back in junior high, Roger carried a dislike for Benny the others didn't quite share. They all merely saw him as a traitor friend, who'd been lured to the "other side."

"Don't be rude," Benny said, straddling the bench above Maureen and Joanne. "I just came by to say hi. Alison's cheering, you know, so I'm not really sitting with anyone."

"Well, you can't sit with us," Maureen said snidely.

Benny rolled his eyes and allowed hisbenign façade to slip. "Like I'd want to," he sneered.

Mark drew his knees up to his chest. "Get out of here, Benny," he said wearily.

Benny stood. "Fine. I will. But you all should think about being a little less rude. I _was _voted class president by popular vote, you know-"

"_We _didn't vote for you," Roger said sharply.

"-which means I've got more of a life than any of you."

"Let me guess," Collins said. "Come to the Dark Side – we have cookies?"

Benny shook his head exasperatedly and moved away. Everyone sighed with relief and turned to face the field again.

"Jerk," Mimi snorted.

"I think it's about to start," Mark observed.

"Hey, Roger, you should play something to pep up the beginning of the game," Angel suggested. "Before the band comes out."

"Okay," Roger readily agreed. He unlatched his guitar case and brought the precious instrument out, setting it on his lap. "What should I play?"

Everyone thought for a moment, and then a sly smile crossed Maureen's face. She whispered something to Joanne, who laughed and leaned forward to whisper it to Roger. Roger smiled.

Thus, a minute later, when the football team charged onto the field, it was to a rousing chorus of "Another One Bites the Dust".

When all the cheering had died down some, Roger's playing became more audible, and several knots of people turned. Some giggled; others scowled disapprovingly.

"Roger, here comes Ms. Hawkins!" Mimi warned. Ms. Hawkins was the school's vice-principal, and unfortunately she had apparently decided to take a seat not far from where the group sat. Now she was coming towards them, frowning.

Roger made no attempt to hide his instrument as the angry woman reached them, hands on her hips.

"Mr. Davis, you have caused a disruption that is preventing many people from hearing the announcements over the PA. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Roger adopted an innocent look. "But Ms. Hawkins, with all due respect, no one understands what the PA is saying anyways. It sounds like a bunch of mumbling!" His friends stifled laughs, because of course Roger was right.

"Perhaps you'd like to serve detention with me next week?"

"No, ma'am," Roger said seriously.

"Well, then I suggest you behave for the rest of the night, and if I see that thing out again, there will be serious consequences. If you hadwanted to join the band, that could have been easily arranged." And she stalked off.

They waited until she was gone before bursting into laughter. Mimi fell against Roger, her face red. Mark leaned his elbows on his knees, his shoulders shaking.

"That-was-great!" he croaked between spurts of laughter.

Thoroughly enjoying themselves and wiping away tears of mirth, the group tried to focus on the game at hand. It was hard, as the smallest distraction diverted their attentions. By halftime, the score was 14-7 in favor of the Panthers.

The group headed down to the concession stand to get refreshments.

"I wonder if I could slip some Stoli into my Coke…" Collins wondered. Angel swallowed her bite of pretzel before replying.

"Better be careful," she warned. A police officer was standing not too far away to keep an eye on the game attendees. Collins winked.

By the end of the third quarter, the score was tied 21-21. Even Maureen was enjoying herself, and she borrowed Collins' rubber finger on several occasions, using her cowbell for emphasis as she jumped up and down. Roger and Mimi spent much of the time making out when they were sure no one else was looking (PDA was taken very seriously at the high school). Mark filmed, keeping his camera out of reach of his friends, just in case. Joanne had never been one for sports, but she sat on the edge of her seat just like Angel as the last minute of the final quarter ticked down.

The other team was now up by six points, and the ball was in possession of the Panthers. They needed a touchdown and the following field goal to win the game.

Ten seconds left…9…8…7…the ball flew through the air, and was caught by another player…5…4…3…2…the player ran with it across the touchdown line, dodging two opposing players in the process. The stadium was deathly silent as the players aligned themselves for the field goal. It went up – and then cleanly through the field posts.

The stands erupted. Angel jumped up and down, squealing and hugging Collins and Mimi and everyone else. Maureen screamed and clanged her cowbell, and Mark whistled. Joanne whooped and hugged Roger around the neck from behind. Then Roger got a mischievous look on his face. As everyone else streamed onto the field, he reached into his guitar case and pulled out his guitar.

Soon, "We Are the Champions" twanged out loudly in the relatively empty bleachers.

"DAVIS!"

"Run." Mark advised.

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A/N: Lol. I hope you liked it! RENT was so amazing I felt like I had to write something related tonight. 


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